today was a very very bad day, although i was used to bob being bagged regulary, it was just his idea of fun and making sure he got all the attention, but he went a step to far today and i thought id lost him for good, it came totally out of the blue,he was still of vent but back on cpap as he had come down with yet another chest infection, and he was just being weighed and had started to cry but as he was crying he just started to go blue, wasnt to scared at first because he quite often would breath hold, but this time he was just going bluer and bluer, i knew it was serious when tess his nurse screamed at one of the nurses to help and hit the crash button.his heart had stopped it was 8.29pm and i will never forget that sight and feeling so utterly useless, not wanting to just stand there and watch them trying to revive him, but not wanting to leave him either, to see the doctors doing cardiac massage on a baby who at that point still weighed only 1.72kg was sooo scary as its with 2 fingers and you dont think that is enough, he was out for 2min 10 seconds but it felt like hours before they got him to breath , i really thought id lost him then.